Hey Kind Friend

It was one of those weeks when each day seemed worse than the one before; a week in which morning prayers were anything but peace-filled moments for me and my children, but rather the setting for fisticuffs, unholy looks, and whines which caused me to grit my teeth and mutter under my breath; a week when little boys clamored onto the kitchen table, joyously knocking over precious coffee; a week when after the fourth dirty diaper in three hours, I questioned anew why I exactly insisted upon using cloth diapers; a week when underwear was intentionally stuffed into and flushed down the toilet; a week when meals became occasions for demonstrating my youngest children's throwing arms. It was a week where despite my intense love for my children, I wanted to bury my head in my arms with my ears stuffed with cotton balls to diminish the seemingly incessant cry of, "Mommy" and cry myself. It was a week in which I was less like the iconic June Cleaver and more like the nasty step-mother depicted in fairy tales; a week where sleep deprivation manifested itself in ugly, embarrassing ways - an uncontrolled temper and an uncontrolled tongue - so that my meager apology of, "I am sorry," became a permanent fixture on my lips. It was a week I hope not to repeat, though I probably will.

With hope I clung to the fact that no matter how horrible each day was, I was leaving for Indiana with my eldest child on Friday to visit precious friends who accept me in spite of myself. I knew that despite the distance that now separates these beautiful women from me, I would find solace and comfort within their homes. I knew that as reunited children laughed and played in the background, and as we drank coffee, diet Coke, and wine, we would truly be open about the endless challenges confronting each of us and that by speaking about our struggles they would become less cumbersome and heavy. So thank you kind friends for listening, empathizing, offering your love, and helping me remember who I am. No matter how many miles separate us, you are always close to my heart.