Wednesday, August 4, 2010

A Soul Has Gone To Heaven

For the servant of God Robert, beloved friend, departed this life August 4, 2010.
May the Comforter surround his dear wife Nancy, his family, and his friends as they mourn. And may the Lord God remember Bob in His Kingdom now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.

Emily Dickinson

If tolling bell I ask the cause.
"A soul has gone to God,"
I'm answered in a lonesome tone;
Is heaven then so sad?

That bells should joyful ring to tell
A soul has gone to heaven,
Would seem to me the proper way
A good news should be given.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Teach Me To Pray

When it has been a week in which your kitchen transformed into a crime scene by two bottles of blackstrap molasses recklessly dumped, oozing with all its thick, gooey, murkiness upon your already less than clean floor and cabinets; your rugs, hardwood floors, and furniture in nearly every room morphed into toilets for use by your tiny twins, the pungent smell of vinegar lingering in the humidity charged air in an effort to redeem the transgressions; your three-year-old sons bore the marks of numerous scratches and bites on various locations of their bodies which each had mercilessly inflicted upon the other: You will consider yourself a failure as a mother. You will feel the seeds of despair begin to take root in your heart and you will cry out as you begin to question your vocation. You will be tempted to yield to your apparent incompetence and wish to pack your things, slam the door, and run away. You will mentally scream, "I Quit." You will pray for more patience, wisdom, and love; "Lord have mercy" will become your mantra. You will emotionally distance yourself from your sons' trying behaviors and attempt to curb your anger, knowing that your sins most definitely can be passed down to your children. You will continually stop and reflect upon your choices and work to fix what is broken. You will purchase locks for the doors, cabinets, and refrigerator. You will investigate and plan to buy taller baby gates. You will neglect the treadmill and instead swaddle your youngest son to pacify his flailing arms and troubled spirit. You will rock him to sleep and lie by his side. You will drink more wine, eat more ice cream, and consider frozen pizza as a valid dinner option. You will flee to the Goodwill for an hour of tranquility and purchase yet another black dress and a table lamp for $2.38. You will check your email less and cancel play dates, opting to spend more time alone with your tinies, marveling in their LEGO towers and trains and ability to count to 25. In the end, you will know that you are losing more of your self and tearfully acknowledge that your self is only there to lose and that Grace will offer you the courage and strength to fulfill your God-ordained calling despite the chaos.

And when it has been a day of relative calm, a day in which only one cup of coffee was dumped onto the floor, one glass pushed and smashed, and all bodily fluids managed to fine their proper receptacle, you will breathe a sigh of relief and offer up a prayer of thanksgiving. You will eat popcorn heavily salted at mid-afternoon in order to celebrate; it will taste like ambrosia. You will glory in your hour of silence and consider it a triumph that your children are sleeping. You will experience a deep peace as you scrub down your kitchen cabinets and floor, your hands sudsy with Ivory Soap. You will drink yet another cup of coffee but this time it will be hot and you will not measure your cream. You will conjure up plans for a dinner alone with your husband for the following evening. You will be ever grateful for a supportive spouse and faithful friends and family who come alongside you and enable you to emerge victorious. You will truly appreciate the unique individuality of your children and delight in their smiles, relish in their kisses, and hold them a little longer, knowing that they are precious, precious gifts from God and of their kind is made the Kingdom of Heaven.  

Prayer for Peace
Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow

O Lord, grant me to greet the coming day in peace.
Help me in all things to rely upon thy holy will.
In every hour of the day, reveal thy will to me.
Bless my dealings with all who surround me.
Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout the day 
with peace of soul and firm conviction that thy will governs all.
In all my deeds and words, guide my thoughts and feelings.
In unforeseen events, let me not forget that all are sent by thee.
Teach me to act firmly and wisely without embittering or embarrassing others.
Give me strength to bear the fatigue of the coming day
with all that it shall bring. Teach me to pray.
 Pray thou thyself in me. Amen.
  







Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Patience

Blue Nude
Pablo Picasso

Poetry Wednesday

Patience
Rabindranath Tagore

If thou speakest not I will fill my heart with thy silence and endure it.
I will keep still and wait like the night with starry vigil
and its head bent low with patience. 
The morning will surely come, the darkness will vanish,
and thy voice pour down in golden streams breaking through the sky. 
Then thy words will take wing in songs from every one of my birds' nests,
and thy melodies will break forth in flowers in all my forest groves. 

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Amisaganalu

Duke Mu of Chin said to Po Lo: "You are now advanced in years. Is there any member of your family whom I could employ to look for horses in your stead?" Po Lo replied: "A good horse can be picked out by its general build and appearance. But the superlative horse- one that raises no dust and leaves no tracks- is something evanescent and fleeting, elusive as thin air. The talents of my sons lie on a lower plane altogether; they can tell a good horse when they see one, but they cannot tell a superlative horse. I have a friend, however, one Chiu-fang Kao, a hawker of fuel and vegetables, who in things appertaining to horses is nowise my inferior. Pray see him."

Duke Mu did so, and subsequently dispatched him on the quest for a steed. Three months later, he returned with news that he had found one. "It is now in Shach'iu," he added. "What kind of a horse is it?" asked the Duke. "Oh, it is a dun-colored mare," was the reply. However, someone being sent to fetch it, the animal turned out to be a coal-black stallion! Much displeased, the Duke sent for Po Lo. "That friend of yours," he said, "whom I commissioned to look for a horse, had made a fine mess of it. Why, he cannot even distinguish a beast's color or sex! What on earth can he know about horses?" Po Lo heaved a sigh of satisfaction. "Has he really got as far as that?" he cried. "Ah, then he is worth ten thousand of me put together. There is no comparison between us. What Kao keeps in view is the spiritual mechanism. In making sure of the essential, he forgets the homely details; intent on the inward qualities, he loses sight of the external. He sees what he wants to see, and not what he does not want to see. He looks at the things he ought to look at, and neglects those that need not be looked at. So clever a judge of horses is Kao, that he has it in him to judge something better than horses."

When the horse arrived, it turned out indeed to be a superlative animal.

Raise Hight The Roof Beam, Carpenters, J.D. Salinger

Since our arrival to Addis Abbaba, Ethiopia, over five weeks ago, I struggled over how I would choose to describe this city once I returned. You see, I have awakened to the sound of men busy with spraying down cobbled streets with water and viewed the awesome majesty of a bygone church upon opening my hotel window while in Paris. I have peered down sixteen stories at the city of Seoul, alive, vibrant, booming with activity and neon lights. I have lounged in cafes late at night with new friends in Skopje, Macedonia, drinking in the smells of freshly cooked beef kebobs and stale cigarette smoke while surrounded by ruined fortresses and stalwart bridges dating back to Roman rule. To the outward appearance (and here I must qualify that my experience of Ethiopia's capital was indeed severely limited), there is much of Addis that may not appeal to the senses. But even though the mud drenched streets after an afternoon rain; the scattered cattle and the beggars; the commotion of traffic spewing diesel exhaust and following what no Americans would consider the "rules of the road," was certainly not as charming as a stroll down the Champ de Elysee: Addis, I discovered, possessed its own superlative beauty. For underneath the muck and havoc, the poverty and despair, beneath the externals of the city, there is a people so lovely, so kind, so generous. And in my heart, those "homely details" have begun to fade and it is this beauty I continue to treasure in my heart.


I am not sure why, but we could not get enough pictures of cattle on the sidewalks. I think Thomas was a bit envious. 


After taking custody of Lucia on Monday, we were told by our agency that if Jared and I were going to be out and about Addis that we take her next door to the Holt Care Center where she had been living. These precious women were two of her nannies. These pictures are so dear. So totally overwhelming, swimming in gratitude for the love and care our daughter received while in Holt's care. 


And look Molly, it is your dress! The nannies were always very concerned with the warmth of the children, hence the shirt underneath the sundress. 


Several months ago, Cami Blumenthal raffled off a fuzzy, pink blanket in order to raise money to purchase medicine for AHOPE. She was able to raise $200 and I won the blanket. As providence would have it, Cami and her husband Ryan were part of our travel group and Jared, Ryan, Thomas, and I were able to visit AHOPE, a care center for children with HIV/AIDS and drop off the medicine.


Throughout the summer months AHOPE receives many volunteers (do you hear the wheels turning in my head?). Some chalk drawings from some of AHOPE's children. 


We toured AHOPE's early childhood facility during nap time. This is Thomas in the toddler room. With the help of medicine now available to countries like Ethiopia, the life expectancy of children with HIV/AIDS has increased to twenty-two years of age. 


A classroom for children not enrolled in the Addis school system.


After a night of severe illness for both Jared and myself, we awakened and though a bit weak went on a tour of Holy Trinity Orthodox Cathedral. Though not the Byzantine style which we are pretty accustomed to, the cathedral was beautiful and is the resting place of former Ethiopian Emperor Halle Selassie and his wife. 


One of the four Evangelists (we think it's St. John) outside the Cathedral.


Praying outside the Cathedral doors.


Though not typical to our Orthodox experience, the stain glass windows depicting biblical scenes were beautiful.  






Though we have always requested a bassinet for our flight home with our children, this was the first time we actually had one. Wonderful and so was she for our nearly twenty hour flight home. Thanks Jared for doing all the baby duty!


So Jared and Thomas loved these moths that were abundant in Addis.


Anything. Anything. Anything is better than our trip home from Seoul with the twins. Three seats for five people. This time we had five seats for the four of us. And after our sickness Wednesday night/Thursday morning, even the airplane food was a feast.


Thomas with his new Ethiopian shirt (it has a gold cross on it). Fabulous traveler. Not surprised in the least at this.


Arriving in Chicago.

And so ends the pictures of our journey. You can visit our dear friend's blog for  photos of our arrival home here. And if you want to view more great photos of our trip including one shot of our travel group at the Care Center's Good-bye Ceremony, you can visit my friend Julie's blog.

Amisaganalu.
(Thank You in Amharic)